11 bizarre bacon-flavored products that have no business existing

11 bizarre bacon-flavored products that have no business existing

Food

11 bizarre bacon-flavored products that have no business existing

While bacon shows no signs of fading from the gustatory Zeitgeist, it may be showing some signs of running out of ideas. Well, good ones at least.

Although it may still be considered poor taste to cast shade in bacon’s direction, the savory treat has been dragged into some unlikely dark corners of the culinary landscape these days.

Take bacon-flavored popcorn or Burger King’s now-discontinued bacon ice cream sundae for example.

No stranger to the spotlight, bacon has been at the center of culture since the 16th century when European peasants would proudly display their bacon as a sign of affluence. Later (like a lot later), in 1924, Oscar Meyer introduced pre-packaged, pre-sliced bacon to the United States – national obsession ensued.

But when just frying it up in a pan loses its thrill, things can get real. We’re not talking artisanal, locally raised, butchered-under-circumstances-of-extreme-compassion type bacon. That’s for the weekend dabblers. But there’s a dark side to this twisted tail (see what I did there?). And it comes in the form of some pretty unsavory, savory characters.

Photo via Amazon.com

While the hotly rumored Bacon Oreos turned out to be a cruel tease, the Maple Bacon Pop-Tarts (limited edition) are no joke. But I can only imagine those chalky tarts would be crying out for a chaser.

Do not despair, dry-mouthed pork pounders, Lester’s Bacon Soda can slake that unnatural thirst.

And for breakfast-dessert (which could be a thing), Lester comes through again to round out your morning bacon craving, Lester Fixin’s Bacon Cotton Candy.

Or just stick with a mug of Maple Bacon Morning coffee. 

Perhaps more upsetting than these artificially flavored edibles is that the cured little piggy has also found its way well outside of the culinary universe from whence it came. Bacon-scented dryer sheets might be nothing more than a gag box, but if the thought of smelling like bacon appeals to you, you have options.

Bacon-flavored cologne, the self-proclaimed “scent by the gods” could be exactly what you’re looking for. 

Or you can really bathe in the scent of swine with this Bacon Old Fashioned pipe tobacco, which gives a whole new meaning to smoked bacon.

If the smell of bacon seeping out of your pores just isn’t enough, fear not. Bacon mints will keep your breath smelling like breakfast meat…with a lingering mint finish. Or you can just go all-out with bacon-flavored toothpaste

If that sounds like too much, you can just grab a stick of Bacon Balm, because if you don’t have a pig to put lipstick on, you can just put pig on your lips. 

If these things sound really cool to you, there are places that can help. You don’t have to live this way. Or you can just calm your mind with a few shots of Bakon Vodka.       

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