There’s nothing worse than going to a class reunion or some kind of interminable corporate cocktail party and having to listen to people humblebrag while they sip middle-shelf cocktails. “My agent says my second novel might not outsell my first,” some dude says while you wait at the bar, and you shuffle the napkins and wonder how you’re supposed to respond. Luckily, British retailer B&M has you covered with an impressive-sounding job opportunity.
The Liverpool-based chain is looking for a “chicken nugget connoisseur” to help it fine-tune its about-to-launch line of fresh and frozen foods. According to the online job posting, B&M is trying to find someone who would be willing to taste-test the new offerings as they’re released and then provide plenty of feedback.
So who’s the right candidate? You might be, if you’re someone who “[gets] the 20 share box of nuggets from McDonalds and [keeps] them all for yourself” or has said yes to a party invitation “because there is free food.” (Did anyone else just nod enthusiastically?)
“Surely there’s a downside,” you’re saying to yourself. And yes, you’re right. The candidate has to live near one of B&M’s 500+ locations in the UK, and he or she won’t receive an actual salary or anything – but will get a £25 ($35) coupon every month to spend on B&M food.
If you feel like you’re both interested and qualified, you can apply online on B&M’s website. You’ll need to attach a paragraph about why you’re connoisseur-worthy and what kind of relevant experience you have. We’ll cross our fingers that you get the job before your next class reunion. “Oh, you’re pediatric oncologist,” you’ll say, sipping your drink. “I’m a chicken nugget connoisseur. THE chicken nugget connoisseur, actually.”