Most New Yorkers have a love-hate relationship with the place they call home, but traveling tends to make us appreciate certain things about the city that never sleeps – namely that, well, it’s always awake. The 24-hour subway system, bars and clubs open to the wee hours of the morning, and – perhaps above all – a wide variety of late-night dining options have spoiled us to the core (sorry, I had to).
But according to a not-at-all scientific report from Four Loko, New York isn’t even America’s top city for late-night eats. That honor belongs to… drumroll… Washington, D.C.
While I wouldn’t normally trust a brand most famous for getting college-aged binge drinkers blackout drunk, I will say this: If there is one thing Four Loko can probably tell you, it’s where to get food after 2 a.m. – an hour where you’re almost definitely intoxicated if you’re considering inhaling that pile of home fries and macaroni salad topped with cheeseburger patties slathered in a mysterious, oily meat sauce.
The report took a look at the 20 cities on Amazon’s shortlist of possible locations for its second headquarters, and ranked them according to six categories: number of late-night options based on Google Maps search results, variety of cuisine, average restaurant Google rating, number of 24-hour restaurants, average closing time and accessibility of restaurants to public transit.
While New York had a significantly better transit score, number of 24-hour restaurants and later average closing time (3:15 am to 2:30 am), D.C. had an average restaurant rating of 4.2 to New York’s 4.1 – which was apparently enough to give D.C. the top spot.
Should Amazon move to a city like Raleigh, Nashville or Indianapolis, employees working late better pack a midnight snack, because the late-night eating options are few and far between.
Here’s the complete rankings:
20. Raleigh, North Carolina
18. Northern Virginia
16. Columbus, Ohio
13. Montgomery County, Maryland
6. Los Angeles*
2. New York
*Los Angeles wasn’t actually listed anywhere on Four Loko’s report, but I figured it was No. 6 by process of elimination. I hope Four Loko forgives the person responsible for this error, as they may have been suffering the effects of drinking Four Loko.